The Tale of Fat Sasuke
by IWasOnREACH
Summary: What if Sasuke was a chubby and lazy shinobi? story will follow the main events of the original series and possibly deviate. (This is a parody and is not intended to offend)
1. Chapter 1

The Tale of Fat Sasuke: Chapter 1

The village had witnessed a peaceful morning as Itachi walked home from his errands. He had looked on, enjoying the blooming flowers of the new season with satisfaction as he adjusts the bag he draped over on his shoulder.

He had gathered some training tools from the local shops, intent on spending the day helping his little brother with shuriken practice. Itachi had turned down Sasuke's constant requests to train him, as he was often swamped with his own official village duties that had kept him pre-occupied and away from home for long stretches of time. He had remained optimistic, as he had hoped that he might finally have the free time to devote to his little brother.

'Now that I finally have a day off, I can make it up to him. I hope this will be enough supplies!'

Itachi pats the bag as he walks into the familiar Uchiha home, he had caught the scent of his mother's signature tea brewing before and a smile grew on his face.

'Finally home, I wonder where Sasuke is?'

"Sasuke!" Itachi calls out, heading into the living room. "How would you like to go out for Shuriken practice today?"

"Nah." A dismissive little voice replied.

Itachi scanned the room for the source of the reply, as his eyes settled on a doughy looking boy lying on the floor, reading his new copy of _Shinobi Jump_ magazine.

Sasuke's raven hair and features had stayed the same, but whereas Itachi once had a skinny little brother, now sat a large pale ninja boy, with the round shape of a dewdrop, in his white shorts reading manga. His face seemed bloated and he sweat profusely. His breathing had been heavy and labored as he jiggled in laughter reading his book.

'Uh…He's gained alittle weight…how long have I been gone?'

"H-hey Sasuke, I finally have free time! How about we go out for morning exercises?" Itachi said with an entreating smile.

"I don't wanna!" Sasuke rolls away from Itachi, so his backside is showing to him.

It seemed while Itachi was gone his brother had consumed the entire village…or at least their portions of food.

"Hey..come on now, it's a beautiful day outside to do some-"

"You can do it by yourself!" Sasuke pulls a bag of potato chips from seemingly out of nowhere and begins munching on them.

Itachi had begun to lose his patience as all illusions to spend the day with his eager younger brother had been shattered.

"You can't lie around the house all day Sasuke! Come on, we are going outside to train."

Itachi grabs onto Sasuke's legs, but Sasuke kicks him away.

"Hmph, Make me." Sasuke states defiantly, eating his chips.

The petulant response had taken Itachi by surprise, but his smile had now waned.

'Oh don't you worry, I will. You irritable little mochi shinobi' Itachi swore, now at the end of his rope.

"I will oblige you then little brother…" Itachi began to loom menacingly over Sasuke, who turns to face him and begins to visibly sweat at the intimidating aura Itachi began to emit.

" …and when I am done, you will do at least 200 squats, sit ups, push-ups and whatever else comes to my imagination concerning the way a human body should bend!" Itachi's eyes begin to glow red as he activates his signature visual jutsu.

"Uh oh." Sasuke's eyes widen in fear.

"Sharingan!"


	2. Chapter 2

Naruto had begun walking home after a long day of training, he groaned as his body ached and his signature orange jumpsuit had been covered in various scratches and caked with dirt.

'I'll have to buy a new set…and maybe some healing ointment.'

Naruto worried about the incoming expenses as he walked along the familiar dirt trail home, when he came across a small pier alongside the river. He looked up in surprise as he noticed a round chubby figure sitting on the pier by the water.

'Hey…isn't that the one popular Uchiha kid? What's that weirdo doing out here in the middle of the evening?'

Naruto looks on, as he watches Sasuke silently sitting at the pier, skipping stones over the water.

'Wow I didn't realize he was such a huge guy, regarding all the rumors about him I thought he was a prodigy of some sort.

Naruto continued to stare at Sasuke, until he sneezed and began looking around, then wiped his boogers on his shorts.

"…what an oddball." Naruto mutters.

To his misfortune, he had not realized he walked within earshot of Sasuke Uchiha.

"Did you just call me a ball?" Sasuke glares accusingly at Naruto. Naruto had been surprised by Sasuke's sudden appearance.

'How did a big guy like him even sneak up on me like that?' Naruto wondered.

Now that Naruto had established first contact, he had realized the true gravitational pull that surrounded Sasuke Uchiha. As his chubby arms crossed over his chest, he looked at Naruto with his big doughy face.

"I'm just big boned!" Sasuke retorted.

"Uh..N-no I didn't mean…" Naruto began.

"I recognize you now…I don't want a loser like you talking to me, your failure might be contagious!" Sasuke snorted.

"Guh..." Naruto was taken aback by the insult. His fists had begun to clench and his brow furrowed. Something about Sasuke's smugness ticked off Naruto, and he wasn't just going to stand by and let him insult him. "Y'know what Uchiha, I take it back! You are fat…a fat bastard!"

"Maybe I am, but at least I'm not a dead last idiot!" Sasuke huffed, recognizing Naruto as the perceived class clown.

"I hope you roll off the pier you gum wad!" Naruto sticks out his tongue at him in displeasure and continues his walk home.

"Go return those clothes to the dumpster you found them in! In fact you might want to jump in yourself!" Sasuke retorts, then walks back to the pier.

"God, I hope I never see that guy again!" Naruto exclaims, resuming his walk home.


	3. Chapter 3

Naruto had been daydreaming about ramen when his favorite mentor Iruka called him to the head of the class for the new team seven roster.

'So they go by evaluating abilities? Huh. I wonder who my partners are going to be'

Naruto knew he wasn't the best at most conventional jutsu, but he had hoped he'd be teamed up with some of his strong friends that could help him train.

"your other team mate is...Haruno Sakura!"

Naruto's face lit up, while Sakura groaned aloud.

'Yes! Sakura is the smartest and prettiest girl in class! I bet I can learn alot from her!...and maybe she'll see how totally cool I am and go out with me.'

Naruto giggled to himself as Sakura dejectedly rose from her seat and drifted to the front of the class, as Iruka-sensei called out the next name.

"and Uchiha Sasuke!"

"Aww no, not him!" Naruto groaned.

"Yay! I get paired up with Sasuke! Take that Ino pig!" Sakura mood lightens up as she cheers then points to Ino, who begins to argue with her.

"Uchiha Sasuke!...Hey where is he?" Iruka wondered aloud.

The entire student body begun to look around, realizing he was actually absent.

"He didn't even come to school today." Shikamaru Nara, the laziest shinobi of the class said, confirming everyones suspicion.

"I mean I might be lazy, but I'm not so lazy I don't show up."

"You mean..." Naruto began. "Mr. Elite Uchiha, top of the class shinobi because his clan was super popular, has a stick so far up his-"

"Naruto!" Iruka scolds.

"Sorry...So far up his ass, he can't even show up for team assignment!?" Naruto exclaims angrily.

Iruka sighs deeply at being unable to prevent the resident maverick's unsavory behavior.

"Be that as it may, Naruto...huh?" Iruka realizes Naruto isn't where he was standing.

"Hey Naruto! get back here!" Iruka calls after the blonde shinobi.

"Sorry Iruka-sensei I'll be right back! I have a team mate to retrieve!" Naruto waves at Iruka.

"Wait Naruto! I'm coming too!"

Naruto looks towards the student tables, as Sakura waves at him. She starts to hurriedly walk after him.

'Chaa!! I finally have an excuse to visit him!' Sakura's inner self jumps with glee.

'But I can't let Naruto know.'

"O-only because I don't want you causing trouble for Sensei!" Sakura places her handshands on her hips.

Naruto feels a small sting at the jab, but lets it go, since it meant he'd get to walk with Sakura.

"Alright, be back in two shakes Sensei!"

Naruto and Sakura exit out the door and rush out to the main street.

"Hey umm...Sakura?" Naruto addresses the pink haired shinobi.

"Yeah?" the pink haired shinobi replies.

"Where does Sasuke live?"

Sakura facepalms.

"You mean you ran out here, without even knowing where you are going?" Sakura's enthusiasm had completely deflated at the realization.

"Eheh." Naruto sheepishly laughs it off.

'Ugh...Naruto is going to be so much trouble...'

"If I recall correctly...he lives by the old run down police compound..." Sakura recalls.

"Woah, how did you know that?!" Naruto exclaims, impressed.

'Shoot! I can't let him know I've been stalking him!' Sakura panics.

"Hey! We are wasting time! let's go!" Sakura absentmindedly grabs Naruto's hand and pulls him to the direction of the Uchiha compound.

Naruto feels the blood rush to his ears since Sakura had mindlessly grabbed his hand and had begun dragging him along.

'She smells, really nice...'

Sakura continues to drag Naruto, until she realizes she's been holding his hand the entire time, dragging him to the compound. She lets him go, visibly embarrassed.

"Sorry." She said.

Naruto shook his head, "It's alright...lets go find Sasuke."

Naruto pushed down the awkward feeling and focused on the task at hand.

'Skipping school...what does he think, that he's so much better than us?!'

Naruto begins to feel determination seep into him.

'Not my top choice, but he is an Uchiha...maybe I can pick up some tricks from him, he's supposedly really talented.'


End file.
